As I am


Black-clad figures with muffled faces skitter through a courtyard, swarming over walls like spiders and running lightly across rooftops, quick as cats, as though gravity was nonexistent.

The black silhouettes poured from room to room as they checked for their target finally they approached the main room.

An unsuspecting samurai sleeps peacefully as the shadows permanently silence his body guards. The bedroom door slides open without a sound, an up-raised blade glints in the moonlight, and…

We all know the story and how it all ends, head ninja falls in love with beautiful girl from village who in turn kills him in order to protect her family, from the feudal lords clutches and then overcome by grief she does away with herself… typical sad story.

I tossed the paper back across the room at my open closet. I couldn bear to read another one of the boringly predictable books. That had been the fifth one and it still had not a shred of originality. I sighed and then yawned as I realized how tired I was.

Looking out the window the purple light of dusk had faded to black and ambient starlight shone in a potentially infinite distance.

Below more of the walk way lay in shadow than in lamplight.

I shifted my gaze to the other side of the road and I held on to the curtains in, what I think up to this day was fear.

I felt my knuckles go white as my grip tightened.

Who was that?

The person staring back at me, my breath became short and ragged.

Slowly the person stepped back and slipped in to the shadows as If they were one of the same.

And just like that, the person vanished. I blinked twice and looked again… no-one.

”I must really be tired, ” I muttered to myself.

I glanced at the time.


”Crap! ” I yelped as I realized how late it was, ”if I go to sleep now I might still be able to wake in time for school! ”

I dove in bed and switched off the lamp…

Soon after, I fell into a dark, empty, dreamless, abyss.

Hirahame is pronounced as hi-ra-ham-ay


Chapter 1:


I woke to the smell of waffles. The sweet scent lingered heavily in the room making my mouth water.

Slowly I sat up and forced myself out of bed, I was still tired but who could resist the tempting scent?

Oh… yeah if you
e reading this then you
e going to need a name to call me by or Itll just get extremely confusing… only theres a problem. You see theres this group of people who would like just that, to have my name and given the circumstances I can really do that. If I did Id probably be dead before this even gets published. So you can call me… Alice … yeah I like that. Thats the name am going to use.

You could say that my life was normal, yeah, I was the most normal girl you wouldve expect to find, I mean sure Ive been called a tom-boy a few times….

Ok maybe a lot…

So what if I like climbing and football? And other stuff girls … shouldn like… ok whatever am a tom-boy sue me.

I always woke before the alarm went off don know why, but that particular morning I wasn even sure the alarm went off at all.

I quickly took a shower and got prepared for school in a couple of minutes I was at the breakfast table.

e up early, ” my mom said in a sarcastic tone. Sarcasm, that was her thing.

”Morning mom, ” I replied.

”You missed the bus. ” She noted curtly.

”I what? ” I asked jumping up.

”You never wake late so I figured you were sick or something, ” she said looking at her wrist watch, ”its almost nine. ”

”Mom! ” I whined. Im a lot of thing but Im never late.

She laughed, ”Don worry Ill give you a lift, so hurry up and eat. ”

Everyone who sees us together usually recognizes the resemblance really quickly; we have the same auburn colored hair, small nose and thin lips. She says Im thinner than she was at my age. And she once told me I have my dads eyes, I can say anything about it, Ive never met him before.

She doesn talk about him much.

Her eyes are dark green while mine are brown, you know really light brown.

By the time I arrived at school it was almost ten.

Normal day… I would have wished… but life wasn so easy, as a matter of fact I think I was being tested you know pushed to my limits. The very limit.

My mom smiled and waved as she drove off, but before I could get close to or even reach the steps to the entrance I felt something hard hit the back of my neck and saw my world turn black.

I had no idea…

The world I would have been drawn into…

Blood shed…


And things even worse than killing, things your imagination can even fathom…

Things worse than death… you might be wondering what could possibly be worse than death, my advice? Don ….


Two large wooden doors creaked open to a dimly lit, chamber as a hooded

man clad in black entered silently, not because he was trying to be but because

stealth was now as normal to him as walking. He moved to the center of the large room where

chiseled in the floor was a marking he knew well.

One that under normal circumstances he dared not to forget, it was the symbol

of the order to which he served: RAGNOROK.

The room had no windows and was lit only by a fire in the center, a light which danced lazily

against the dark. The light was barely enough to hint that beyond its limit four people sat.

”Why are you here? ” said the one to the extreme right.

”We did not summon you, why is hirahame not present? ”

”He does not wish to converse with any of you, ” the man replied.

”Such insolence! ” The one to the left hissed. ”You will summon him now! ”

”I serve him alone and he does not wish to be summoned, ” the man replied his voice wavering under restrained anger.

”Do not get cocky brat, ” the one on the center right stated with a voice of higher superiority.

”Sui-masen, ” the man replied. ”but that was not my intention, however because of the councils resent

injustice to Tetsuo I have been ordered by hirahame himself to purge the council of its corruption so that

RAGNOROK can return to its former glory. ”

”Is that a threat?! ” the center left one replied his voice rising so much that it echoed in the high darkened roof

of the building. ”Just because hirahame was once the founder of this organization, does not mean that he can do as

he pleases and don forget the council is made up of over a hundred members, each, having legions under their

control. ” ”There is nothing you can do. ”

Before the man could move four guard ninjas surrounded him leaking from the shadows all brandishing weapons of


”He he he, ” laughed the council member to the left. ”Looks like, hirahame chose the wrong person to use to

exact his revenge, oh you didn know? ” ”We were all weary of him, after all he was the strongest

ninja of his era. We all thought about it, what if he was to go rogue? Like youve become? We couldn

afford opposition so we had him poisoned. ”

”He died like a dog! ”

Suddenly the man lashed out, the two ninjas left and right of him uttered short cries before falling

lifelessly to the floor.

The four council members grew quiet at seeing the man wipe out their best guard ninjas with so

little effort. ”S-surely we could be of use to you, ” one of them begged.

”I have no use for such fowl beasts, ” he said unsheathing his blade which seemed to slip from his

sleeve. ”You
e poisonous existence ends here! ”


I was blindfolded and bound.

I couldn understand what my captors were saying, it sounded like a mix between some Asian language and an accented English.

I was scared, cold and hungry, and at one point I was even tied to something I suspect was a

horse, wasn sure all I knew was that it smelled horrible.

Even in those conditions and knowing

I might never see my mom or any of my friends from school ever again I still refused to be afraid, to

give in to the people who captured me… who kidnaped me.

I might die… I don want to die…

Theres so many thing I haven done yet, I haven met the guy Ive always

dreamed about, the one who would love me for who I am.

Then a thought struck me… am going to die a virgin! (Ok maybe that part was a tad unnecessary.) ”Oi, chibbi

onanoku, hyakku! ” stated on of the men. Before there was sudden tug on the rope that pulled me off

balance and facedown into what I hoped was mud. Then laughter, scornfull laughter…

Days past and I was still pulled, I got little water or food. None of the men seemed to want to bother giving me anything.

It got colder and conditions worsened. The only thing they seemed determined to do was checking the blind fold and thanks to that I was able to see a few places…

I have hope….

I can escape…

I can… Try….


It started to get cold, so cold that, I started to think that I had fallen into a haystack of needles.

It hurt… ”Somebody, ” I tried saying fruitlessly.

I felt my breath as it dried my lungs, so cold, ”help me, ” tired, let me rest a bit, just a little.


A thin haze passed before my eyes, my hand holding to it, I was afraid, afraid that if I let go I might never be able to grab hold to it again.

What am I doing?

Behind the haze was a window and beyond that was a man hidden mostly by shadows.

His face was hidden by his black hoodie, it was almost like he shadow had eaten his face. My breathing was short and ragged, I couldn turn away, couldn run, couldn scream.

I stood there; scared but unable to do anything.

Help me.




I open my eyes slowly, and caught a glimpse of the cold air as I breathed out.

Where? Am I?

In attempt to examine my surroundings I tried moving my head only to realize my neck was in some sort of metal brace.

I panicked and tried moving my hands but they were bound and so were my feet. ”Hello? ” I asked.

My clothes had been removed and now all that was left were my pink bra and panties.

My back felt numb with an unnatural coldness and my body tingled all over.


”Mr. Kidnaper? ” I asked trying my best not to sound like how I felt. ”You know this is wrong, and if you let me go now I won press charges. ”

No reply.

Suddenly I became aware of a small stinging sensation just below my breasts.

Every time I moved it hurt a little more.

”Somebody? ”

”Anybody? ”

I winced as the words escaped my lips and pain resonated as a result.

Thats when I finally realized my situation.

Im gonna die here aren I.

They did something to me and now am gonna die right?

I guess this is punishment for what I did.

I felt he tears roll off my ears. I tried smiling, to be tough but ended up crying even more.

I deserve this because Im a horrible person.

Ive hurt my friends.


”Alice come on, tell them we didn do it, ” Tess begged, her expression that of extreme sorrow.

She had cried already and her eyes were red.

But what I did next.

What I did…

”Huh? ” Tess asked softly, ”what are you talking about? ”

”Thats not what happened! ” She exclaimed tears at her eyes again. ”I didn push him! ”

She looked at the principal with a worried expression and then at her parents whom avoided her gaze and then back at me.

”Im afraid I have no choice but to expel you from this school. ” The principal concluded.

It was as if hearing this struck her deep, her eyes widened and she clenched her fist.

”You…traitor! ”

” Ill never forgive you! ”

”Burn in hell you- traitor! ”

”Ill never forgive you… ever! ”

Those words stuck with me…


The cold bit into my skin forcing me to focus, though I could barely think straight.

Im sorry Tess, all this time I wanted to apologize, but I couldn muster up the courage.

Im sorry I didn get to apologize to you and everyone.

My vision swam in and out of focus. This time when I fall asleep I probably won wake up. My tears felt cold against my face… And consciousness slipped from my grasp…


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