If The Moon Won’t Hold You

You don’t have to be so polite.”

Cen Ning: “How long have you been waiting there?”

“I didn’t wait long…” Xia Yi saw Cen Ning’s unconvinced eyes, and he hesitated.
“The main reason is that I didn’t know when you would come out.
And then I thought, ‘what if I left’, and then the event ended and you came out.
What could I do?”

Cen Ning couldn’t help but laugh.
“Then you can call me directly.”

Xia Yi: “I didn’t want to disturb you.”

Cen Ning was silent, not knowing how to answer.

Xia Yi seemed to see her having a hard time.
“Cen Ning, I think you can see my feelings, but… you don’t need to feel pressured.
I’m not forcing you or anything.
I’m just willing.”

Cen Ning looked up at him.
Under the streetlamp, the boy’s face was full of sincerity.

Xia Yi continued: “Count it as a chance for me to pursue you.”

“But I……”

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“D-don’t say it,” Xia Yi hurriedly stopped her.
“You don’t like me now and have no feelings for me, but it doesn’t mean that it will be the same in the future.
We can take our time and understand each other slowly.”

Cen Ning: “Senior brother.”

“Okay, let’s go in quickly.
The dormitory aunt is about to close the door.” Xia Yi waved at her, for fear that she would say something about rejecting him, and he turned and ran away.

Cen Ning looked at his hurrying back and lowered her eyes slowly.

Zhang Ziyi said that others were also good.

She will find the good in others, eventually.

**

On the weekend, Cen Ning returned to the Yan residence.

“Grandpa.” As soon as she entered the door, Cen Ning saw Yan Guofeng coming downstairs.

Yan Guofeng came over and rubbed her head lovingly.
“You’re back.”

“Mhm.”

“Xingzhi is back.
Have you two met?”

Cen Ning nodded.
“We ate together two days ago.”

“That’s good,” said Yan Guofeng as he walked towards the living room, “That stinky boy has finally been transferred back.
It wouldn’t be a situation where we won’t be able to see each other for years in the future.” 

“Will he be leaving anymore in the future?”

“He’ll have no choice but to leave.
As soon as the superiors give a mission, he still has to run around the world.
Oh, this is what he asked for, anyway.
The sword walks with a slanting front.” (TLN: This is a saying that means going with the minority)

Although Yan Guofeng was using a dissatisfied tone, his eyes were full of pride.
Cen Ning guessed Yan Guofeng must not have been disappointed by Yan Xingzhi over the past few years.

Later, Cen Ning went back to the small building.
She went into the room and put down some of the luggage she had brought back.
Then walked into Wei Pinfang’s room.

“Mom.”

Wei Pinfang was sitting on the balcony doing embroidery.
Over the years, this was what she has done the longest in her spare time and was most interested in it.
“You’re back.”

“Mhm.” Cen Ning walked to her side.
“What are you making?”

“A peony flower.” Wei Pinfang put down the needle and thread in her hand.
“Have you seen Xingzhi yet?”

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Cen Ning: “No, he doesn’t seem to be at home right now.”

“Oh.”

“Mom, I want to tell you something.”

“What?”

“Well… I want to find a part-time job.
Many of my classmates are looking for a part-time job.” Cen Ning observed Wei Pinfang’s face and said slowly, “So I may not come back every weekend in the future.
What do you think?”

Wei Pinfang glanced at her and frowned.
“You’re not studying hard and want to do a part-time job.
Are you short on food or clothing?”

“I don’t lack food or clothing, but these things are not ours.”

“You—“

“Mom, I’ve grown up.
At the outset, Grandpa was kind and gave us financial help, but we can’t rely on him and live here our whole life.
I want to make money myself and pay it back slowly.” Cen Ning has always been afraid of Wei Pinfang, so after speaking, her heart was pounding.

Sure enough, Wei Pinfang snorted coldly, and her tone became sour.
“You’re meaning that I’m doggedly and shamelessly clinging to their house with you? Cen Ning, why don’t you think about that if I didn’t do that back then, would you still be alive to this day? Can you still go to such an excellent school and get into such a good university? When your wings are a little hard, you want to jump off a cliff and fly?” (TLN: This saying is typically toward children when they are more independent, meaning that they dared to resist and be disobedient)

“I didn’t mean that at all, and I didn’t blame you.” Cen Ning felt a chill in her heart.
“Grandpa is very kind to me, and the Yan family is very kind to us, but I don’t want to be like this forever.
I want to rely on myself.
I don’t want them to think that without them, we wouldn’t be able to survive.
Mom… I know I can’t do it now, but I still want to try, take it slow, and one day, I will support you on my own.”

Wei Pinfang was speechless, and it took a long time before she said, “Oh, you are just fooling around.”

Cen Ning felt very wronged, but she still stubbornly said, “I’ll prove to you I’m not fooling around.”

After saying that, she turned around and walked out of the room.

After Cen Ning returned to her room, the more she thought about it, the more she felt aggrieved.
She used her spare time to do a part-time job to make money, which would neither affect her studies nor was she doing bad things.
Why couldn’t her mother understand her self-abasement thoughts?

If she always needed help and support from others, how could she move on with life in an upright manner?

Cen Ning sighed and lay on the big soft bed.

Since college, Grandfather would regularly put money on her card, including tuition, living expenses, and even some extra money for buying clothes and going out.

It was an enormous sum every time.

But she rarely used the money in large amounts.
Apart from the tuition fees she had to pay, she would save on her living expenses.

She always thought that one day in the future, she would return this card and all the money she had used to Grandpa Yan.
Then she would use the money she earned to honor Grandpa Yan.
Of course, he didn’t need her money at all.

However, this at any rate represented her heart and gratitude.